On my radio show, we had a popular segment called “Ticklish Thugs” where we would call out an unintentionally gay rap lyric every week. There was enough material to keep it going for years. This is all in good fun, but it’s also a commentary on the abundance of homophobia — which is said to be a form of closeted homosexuality — in Hip Hop. It isn’t an indictment against any artist in particular, except to ask, “Dude, what were you thinking?”
Over the last day, I’ve been counting down my personal favorites one at a time on Twitter. Without further ado, here’s my complete list of the top 10 most ticklish lines of all time (not that there’s anything wrong with them). Enjoy!
10. “I knew I should have laid that man.” -Beanie Sigel
9. “I’ll stand and I’ll spray. Fuck if your man’s in the way.” -Guru
8. “Y’all dudes suck. That’s why I came.” -Masta Ace
7. “When you awaken, your manhood will be taken.” -Big Pun
6. “I might gotta take my shirt off.” “Uh huh. Go in! Go in!” -Jadakiss & Ghostface
5. “Give me a Smith & Wesson. I’ll have brothers undressing.” -Nas
4. “If I don’t do it with music, I’ma do it with papi.” -Jadakiss
3. “I take sacks to the face whenever I can.” -The Luniz
2. “Yayo, bring the condoms. I’m in room 203.” -50 Cent
1. “You ain’t heard that we swallow guys?” -Pharrell
You, sirs, are ticklish thugs.